Honing our Resilience

Life has been one helluva upheaval after another of late. In trying to place a timestamp on when the chaos started, I go back a month, and then another, and really I could keep going back. 

It was in a midnight hour debrief with a dear friend last week that, through her reflection, I took stock of all the big things that have taken place over this period of time which is this season of life. And it was in her naming and listing them out that I took a moment to acknowledge the weight of them all collectively. 

“I’ve almost been waiting for the breakdown, Cath, because you’re juggling a lot. But from what I can see, you’re handling it so well and navigating them with grace.” (I’m paraphrasing into the essence of what she shared because she was actually much more articulate in her compassionate wise reflection - love her) 

My immediate response when she reflected this back to me (aside from comically wanting to say “Well the breakdown isn’t far off!”) - was to say: “I think it’s just because I hold this mindset that Life is hard.”

Life is hard. 

That’s what I said. And it surprised me. 

It surprised me because it didn’t come to me in a ‘woe is me’ way, not even in a ‘glass is half empty’ way. It came so clear and clarifying that I felt empowered by it - and I want to share as I attempt to unpack it for myself because I feel there’s some gems in it.

Life is hard. 

And of course in my surprise, I went straight into where did this narrative start from? Is this true? Is this what I want to believe? But I don’t want to give that space right now, I want to instead be with the words: Life is hard and sit with the goodness that this has meant for how I show up in life. Perhaps in subconsciously having this mindset ‘Life is hard’ - it has meant that I’ve not been surprised when things do happen or keep happening. 

I don’t believe that I’ve been waiting for bad things to happen either, or live in anticipation of them happening. It’s different to that also: I’m living my life, and moving as much as I can in flow, with purpose - between what needs to get done and having space for magic, and when something does happen that is anywhere on the scale between inconvenient or unexpected to shocking and devastating, I feel somewhat like, “OK so this is the next thing.” 

Maybe this is how my resilience has been honed? 

We are put in situations where we are challenged and our capacity is pushed. But from this we grow our resilience. That’s where we learn what we’re made of, what we’re capable of. That’s where people show up for us and we feel their support and know we are not alone and don’t have to do it all and certainly not all at once. Where that which isn’t serving us - be it a person, a habit, an approach, an environment etc - makes itself known so we make different choices. That’s where we are pushed to the edges and we have to dig deep, connect with Spirit, do whatever comes to us so that we can alchemise the experience. 

A question that a client-friend has asked rhetorically for the past few weeks/months now is “How do we keep our vibe high when all of this stuff keeps happening, around us, to us?” 

Life won’t stop being hard. Or having hard moments - throwing up different things to deal with along the way. But we can resource ourselves better, we can be more intentional with how we spend our time and energy. We can do what we need to to be in the feels and take that time for ourselves - throw that tantrum, have that pity party, not go straight to bypassing the emotion and rather feel it so that we are actually alchemising it. We can learn from others. We can return to the practices that serve us. We can find moments of joy and glimmers in it all. 

So here’s a glimmer - these epic colours of this epic season. Sure they could symbolise all the change that has been happening and the change that is a foot - but they can also be just damn pretty colours that bring joy to my eyes and heart when I bask in their beauty. 

And further to all of this - we can recognise when it’s all become too much. 

That’s how I feel this week. My capacity is low and I’m needing to take one big step back. 

The visual I want to share that came to me was that of a table. This table was full: full of random bits and bobs. This table maybe started off as an altar but then, like an everyday work desk or the chair that holds the clothes that have been worn but are not quite dirty enough yet to be washed, it kept collecting and now the table is just piles to sort through. And it’s not even organised chaos, its just one big mess at this point.

And as I look at this table in my minds eye, the feeling that is most present is wanting to do one big sweeping motion to push everything off the table. Push everything off the table and with time, consideration and intention, place back only a few select things.

Thanks for reading. 

I hope in my sharing mid-process, that some gems landed for you also x